Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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