He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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