It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
