Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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