Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
