If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
