I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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