Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize