the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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