I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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