it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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