i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
