I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
vagina is talking i cant
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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