Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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