So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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