What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
