so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
