He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
