I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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