adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
