you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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