Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
