My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize