I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Someone signed my nipple.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
