just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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