it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
pray to the hookup gods
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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