I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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