I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
