I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
