So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
