hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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