and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
