Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
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