Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
