Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
