Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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