hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
