Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
