the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
