i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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