the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I AM VODKA MAN
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He shit in the fireplace
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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