I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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