I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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