i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
