She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
