If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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