I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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