wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think your dad took our porno
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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