3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
