What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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