WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me