I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
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He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
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I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant