A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit