i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
