Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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