So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
