K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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