We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I am one with the molecules
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
