woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
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Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
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What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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