shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
organizing the empties. That sober.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
