Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
