If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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