When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
