kristin has been a bad kristin
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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